Book Review: Learning to Speak Alzheimer's by Joanne Koenig Coste

A Compassionate Guide for Caregiving and Connection

Joanne Koenig Coste’s "Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s" stands out as an extraordinary resource for anyone touched by dementia—caregivers, family members, and professionals alike. Drawing from the personal experience of being a care partner for her husband with early onset Alzheimer’s Disease and deep research, Coste introduces a revolutionary, humanistic approach she calls “habilitation,” which encourages caregivers to meet patients where they are and focus on enriching their lives rather than lamenting lost abilities.

Coste’s main area of concentration is around the concept of “Habilitation vs. Rehabilitation.” She reframes dementia care, urging us to make patients capable and comfortable in their evolving circumstances. She dispels outdated notions of “senility” and emphasizes the importance of adapting care to the patient’s current reality. The book asserts that meaningful connection remains possible at every stage if caregivers look beyond words to underlying emotions. Coste’s “Last Word Connection Technique” and advice on tone, gestures, and patience empower readers to keep conversations alive. She encourages readers to celebrate what patients can still do, rather than mourn what’s lost. From dressing and bathing to eating and socialization, Coste provides affirming, dignity-preserving tips. Perhaps the most moving theme is the call to join patients in their own time and place—never scolding or reasoning, but instead finding joy and comfort together.

Coste packs the book with creative activities for memory stimulation, sensory engagement, and daily success, highlighting how routine, praise, and laughter can foster well-being. She talks about environmental design and the adaptations that can be made in the home. Practical solutions abound—from color schemes and lighting to labeling and safety devices—demonstrating how small changes can make daily life safer and more familiar for those with Alzheimer’s.

She doesn’t neglect caregivers’ needs, providing strategies for self-care, organization, and support groups—reminding us that caring for oneself is just as essential as caring for a loved one. The book’s final chapters offer guidance on home care, agency selection, adult day health programs, and when it’s time to consider care outside the home, all with a balanced, realistic perspective.  At the end of the book she provides ideas for finger foods and smoothie recipes that are perfect for people living with Alzheimer’s Disease.

The strengths of this book are many. Coste provides personal anecdotes from her own experience and from the lives of many others. She provides clear, actionable strategies for every aspect of dementia care. Her deep commitment to empathy, dignity, and joy makes the book uplifting as well as informative. My only critique is that since this book was published in 2003, some recommendations regarding care settings and funding, as well as technological tools and devices, are somewhat outdated, but the core principles remain highly relevant.

"Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s" is essential reading for anyone seeking to understand and care for those living with dementia. Coste’s compassionate approach transforms the overwhelming challenge of caregiving into an opportunity for connection, growth, and meaning. This book not only provides practical wisdom—it offers hope, reminding us that it’s possible to create moments of happiness and dignity, even in the face of Alzheimer’s.